*sigh*... I'm feeling kinda philosophical... but I don't really want to write about it...

I was catching up on my blog reading, when I stumbled across an old(ish) post of Evan's about existentialism(beleiving that all people are free(not bound by a supernatural being) and are responsible for their own actions) and atheism(not beleiving in any godlike figure), and about what Friedrich Nietzsche (that's a nightmare to spell) said - "God is dead, therefore man is free." ... Evan was saying how not beleiving in any sort of deity would leave no purpose in your life, giving you a hollow, empty feeling. In some ways this is true, I mean, I'd like to think that there was some meaning for my life, that I live for a reason... on the other hand, that reason could be extremely small and pathetic, and yes it would be something to live up to, but what about when I acheived that, would I be allowed to go further and explore? ... Or, upon achieving what was desired of me and living out my usefulness, would I die?
... personally, I'm a mix of beliefs and philosophies, I have not yet decided exactly what I choose to believe about anything. This is rather odd seeing as how I'm a "why" person and need to know the why of everything immediately or I feel that I'll just die (and after that, I need to know the when, who, where and how... but I generally enjoy figuring those out on my own... I think another way to describe "why" people is nosy... though I prefer curious or adventurous) ... then again, the fact that I'm nosy might explain why I'm still "sitting on the fence"... this way I get to hear everyones ideas and philosophies and consider them all equally and unobjectively... plus, I'd like to be able to explore and experience them all before I choose, that way I'll know that I've chosen the right one... or maybe I won't... none of us really will until we die... and even then we might not... that's another fun thing to consider... what happens after we die...
I know the empty feeling Evan's talking about, the one you get by not beleiving in anyting... It's pretty horible... I don't experience it much... I'm more agnostic than anything... for those of you who don't know... that's beeing deliberately ignorant, and refusing to agree whether or not there is a godlike thing hanging around... I don't really follow the ignorant part though, since I enjoy contemplating all of the different philosophies... the only thing I really know for sure, is that I have a limited time on this earth... in this particular body anyways... and that I intend to travel, explore and experience as much as possible, physically and mentally while I'm still around to do it... who knows, maybe all my adventures and escapades will lead me to a higher understanding... and if they don't, who cares... at least I spent my life doing and thinking exciting and enjoyable things that I won't regret...

Philosophically Yours,
Ally